I’m going to be totally honest here. A very sweet person with the best of intentions baked me this cake and presented it to me during my last radio broadcast before moving to San Francisco as a way to say “see you soon!” Only the emotions of the moment led me to interpret it as “You will fail and have to retreat home!” and it made me so irrationally angry, this poor little cake.

At 2:00am I was speeding home through the woods and suddenly the moon broke through the canopy and illuminated this seemingly jeering confection. I opened the driver’s side window, took the cake up in my right hand, and flung it past my face, out the window, and into the darkness, where it hit a tree.

But, oh, the little frosted fucker was correct- on May 31 I’m back on the air at my old station for one night only.

Two fortune cookies in one pouch!

(Source: kewlfewd)

Forrest’s family is way more colorful than mine.

Today I took a sandwich to the beach.

(Source: kewlfewd)

The Secret to My Success

AKA “Why I Make the Big (ha) Bucks”

Coworker: Oh, wait, it’s 5am where you are and I just called you on the phone!
Me: Oh, ha ha ha no worries!
Boss: You’re taking on this new project which means you have to learn a new skill from scratch while performing all your regular duties
Me: Oh, ha ha ha no worries!
Coworker: I don’t know how to log onto the Internet.
Me: Oh, ha ha ha, no worries!
Boss: hey, you’re doing such a great job your workload is tripling- isn’t that great!?
Me: Oh, ha ha ha, no worries!

manymachines:

Radioculars, May 8

“New Crimes” by Jib Kidder sounds like a Beached Boys track from a twisted alternate universe, and I think it’s great.

Also notable:

• Thee Oh Sees, “Candy Clock”.  I am mostly just including T.O.S as an SEO trick.  Pretty good song, though.
• Elvis Depressedly, “weird honey”.  It was this or “Hello”, by The Mantles, but I dunno, something about that song’s vocals didn’t hold up to the promise of its first 30 seconds.

A couple weeks ago I started using SoundCloud’s repost feature to keep track of the songs I had written up here.  This was originally just for my own purposes, but it’s there if anybody thinks it would be useful.